It's been over a year since I have blogged. And my life has changed dramatically in that time. I am finally back home, in Arizona, near my family. We bought a house, and the beast will start kindergarten in Arizona. While it didn't all happen and come about the way that we thought it would, we are trying to make the best of an extremely difficult situation.
When Andrew was injured on a jump a year and a half ago, the extent of his injuries weren't fully discovered. Since that injury, he has deployed to Afghanistan, jumped out of more planes, and received orders to Alaska. And then our world came to a screeching halt.
Because of lingering pain in his pelvic region, Andrew went to see the doctor. And after many, many appointments, it was discovered that when he injured himself, well over a year ago, he had actually fractured his pelvis. An injury that continued to receive a beating through the deployment and subsequent jumps from airplanes. Over time, the muscles in the injured area started to tear away from the bone. The army told us that none of this would cause him to not go to Alaska.
We decided that since we were planning on getting out of the military once the Alaska assignment was over, the kids and I would go ahead to Arizona, so that B could start and stay in one school, rather than move around, and so that I could return to school and get my nursing degree, effectively making a civilian transition a little easier on the family. We house hunted, we purchased a home, and less than a week after closing on the new house with the $900 mortgage, and about 6 weeks before Andrew was due to leave for Alaska, we got the news. Andrew's orders were cancelled due to his injury.
It was a devastating blow, because we had purchased our house with the income we would receive from being in Alaska in mind. And there was nothing we could do. The house was ours. Alaska wasn't happening. The kids and I had to come here. And Andrew would end up homeless in NC. You see, the Army doesn't care what happens to you when things like this happen. Thankfully, we have some wonderful friends who have taken Andrew into their home and family.
This period in our lives has probably been one of the most trying I have ever encountered. Between the financial hardships and other strains, our marriage is suffering it's biggest trials ever. While I hate to think that this could be the end, I just don't know anymore. Andrew has completely shut down. His PTSD is in full swing, and the mood swings are unbearable. While I have mentioned counseling several times, it is always met with the same response. Several different versions of "Hell no". I don't know what to do anymore. He doesn't call to speak with his children. They have quit asking for him. I am heartbroken.
I did however make it into school. Not the nursing school I want, but I am in Medical Assistant school, with the hopes that when I graduate, my future place of employment will offer tuition reimbursement while I pursue my bachelor's in nursing. I can only hope that things will dramatically take a turn for the better, or that the transition through separating will not cause the kids to suffer. Something has to change. I really can't live like this anymore.
No comments:
Post a Comment