Must. Go. To. Bed.

At 1:43am, when you get an intense craving for marshmallows, and there are none in the house, what do you do? Turn to the Lucky Charms. Green Poop here I come... Hopefully anyway.

Today was a ball... I took the beast to a play date, which is code for "go annoy your friend, so us mommies can sit in peace for five freakin' minutes." Our play date was 9 1/2 hours... I brought PJ's with me, so I choose to believe that makes me a good mom. And he was asleep before we got home.... at 10:45pm.

Some people pick their friends based on the things they have in common. And while that is probably a great jumping off point, I feel it is better to be around people who parent the same way you do, and find the common ground later. Nothing soothes my heart more when I don't have to roll my nearly 7 month pregnant ass out of a chair to yell at children for something, because I know my friends will have it taken care of. Chances are, if you parent the same, you have a TON in common. I need to surround myself with people who won't bat an eye when I threaten to rip my child's leg off and beat him with it. Clearly, that could never happen! I don't have that kind of arm strength. But my 3 year old doesn't know that. And that, my friends, is productive parenting. That is what gets shit done. Because let me just tell you, the beast is not phased by the word 'spanking'. Some toddlers cringe in terror, but the beast will laugh if you even try. Cue the body parts being ripped off. That's effective. And when that starts to fail, I'll tell him that the police let the Easter Bunny out of jail (where he has taken up residence since Easter 2011 and the unfortunate Egg Incident at the mall) and if he makes a lot of noise the big bad bunny will find him. That should at least get me through until next September when he goes to full day Pre-K... Thank you, NC for providing my child with a place to go so I can take a nap.... Oh wait. There will be another one here. Oh crap.

On that depressing note, my ramblings are over and I'm waddling my shamrock booty to bed. Only 2 minutes past my self-imposed bed time. Oh wait, 3. Crap.