So, maybe I'm being petty. And maybe some people think I just 'don't understand'. But being a stay at home mom isn't easy. I'm so freakin', flippin' tired of having people tell me that I just wouldn't understand the demands of the working mother. Um, hello? It's not all bon bons and Days of our Lives around here! You try waking up and coming downstairs to start the coffee pot and finding your 3 year old asleep on the kitchen floor surrounded by empty go-gurt wrappers. Sure it's cute while he's still asleep, but clearly, in the long run, this is not a good thing. When was the last time any of you working moms had to clean shaving cream off a TV, a closet door, a bed and the carpet because your child and his friend decided to play in the bathroom while you were having a pregnancy induced hot flash that forced you outside into the rain to quickly cool off before returning to keep watch over the shenanigans going on in the house? I did it roughly six hours ago. ((With the help of another awesome SAHM! Far-away-high-five, Shayna!))
You can whine to me about your deadlines, and your office politics and about how the last thing you need when you get home is to clean house and cook dinner. It doesn't make your day harder than mine. In fact, if I had the luxury of spending nine hours a day with adults, hearing adult conversation and looking at spreadsheets instead of listening to those damn Fresh Beat Band kids sing about their great day and cleaning up after a husband who's primary job is to get dirty and 3 year old whose finger lives in his nose, I wouldn't be complaining! Here's the thing. I have worked and taken care of a house at the same time. It is NOTHING compared to spending days on end in a house with a little person whose conversational skills stop short at, "I can't", "I don't want it," and "No." Oh and lets not leave out the ever popular, "Mommy there's a wheel up my nose." Bet you don't have that going on in your office meetings do you? When was the last time you had to turn to the guy at the table next to you and use tweezers to pull something out of his nose? That's what I thought.
Don't get me wrong. I love my son and the time I get to spend with him. I wouldn't have it any other way. I get to be a part of all the good things too. But the next time someone tells me I don't have a "real" job, I just may scream. And then I will tell them that they are right. I don't have a real job. Because if this was a real job, I'd get paid. I'd get weekends off. I'd get to clock out at 5pm. I'd get to call in sick every now and then. And I'd get vacation time. I'd probably know what day it is, and I don't mean the date. I'd probably shower with more regularity. (You can judge all you want, but since leaving the beast alone, even for the 15 min a shower would take isn't an option, that has to happen at night, and I'm to damn tired from NOT working all day.) My sex life would certainly be better because I wouldn't be so tired from RUNNING around a house all day. Literally running. When was the last time you office gals did that? That's what I thought.
In short, I don't feel bad for you. And I don't expect you to feel bad for me. We have all made our choices, or were forced to choose. I'm blessed enough to be able to stay home with the beast. Lord knows he'd probably get kicked out of day cares from here to Timbuktu if I wasn't. But don't diminish and demean what I do. Not everyone can do it, or do it well. It takes a lot of juggling. The reality of it is, I've known women who could run offices daily and not be able to run their house with the same smooth efficiency. Being a SAHM isn't for the faint of heart. It is work. Hard work. As is going into an office every day. Like I said, I've done both. I just knew what day of the week it was, and my legs were usually shaved when I went to the office.
Love love love!!
ReplyDelete